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#14. Contests Suck Now
Alright well then, first thing we should—
Not running very far anymore, that's for sure!
You got it, your honor. Cripple rabbit = receive reward
Music: Hearthome City (Midday)
Burly men blocking the exit. Something major must have happened. Knowing
past trends though it's probably something completely stupid like they
found an egg.
Choro Notes: Hearthome City is one of the larger cities in Sinnoh. Let's loot it!
Ma'am, one of them is literally a gigantic magnet.
Elevators everywhere in this town.
Choro Notes: Shell Bells are made in the Hoenn region, where Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald take place.
So many elevators.
Not me! I act kindly so that everyone can see my greatness.
. . .
I bet she fat WOO gimme some up here, yeeeea!
I wish people'd be more "Oh, you're an awesome trainer!" Because I am and I really would like more acknowledgment of that.
Oh! The horrible digitized space that the things I capture from the wild are sent to. You're the warden of that. I see now!
I— Wait, what?
Eevee has an unstable genetic makeup that suddenly mutates due
to the environment in which it lives. Radiation from various stones
causes this Pokémon to evolve. Very few Eevee are alive in the wild.
Choro Notes: Oh Eevee, pokémon of choice for creepy people
everywhere. Not to say anyone that uses them is creepy, they just tend
to ruin image searches. Gen2 gave Eevee two more evolutions, Gen4 gives
him two more, bringing the grand total to seven; more than any other
monster. I've really got no other opinion towards Eevee itself, its
evolutions now. . .
EV training? I'm not spergin' enough to be doing that for an LP.
Oh no, she's gonna sit in that digital prison. Seriously, what is it like in there. Are they aware? Can Porygons move freely from box to box?
He sounds like a socially well-adjusted person and I'm thrilled to have learned about him. I'm going to go explore more.
Oh yeah, this is a cathedral.
Choro Notes: So what's the deal with this place?
Nothing. It's just a building full of people. For some reason people are
always looking for extra meaning. There is none. It's just a church.
It's got no sidequests related to it, there's no corrupt organization
running it. It's not a front for anything. It's just a church. It adds a
little bit more character to Hearthome and Sinnoh as a whole, its myths
and legends are important to the people that live there. That's it.
I just give them high fives and tell them "Hey you're awesome."
'Cause. . . 'cause they like it? :<
"HEY MAN EAT ALL THESE PEPPERS AND WE'LL THINK YOU'RE COOL."
Woo. Pokemon Muffins. I'll get right on those, I'm a good cook I think. Can you microwave poffins?
Choro Notes: Turns out I still suck at making Poffin! It's a mini-game where you. . . stir a pot. That's it.
Th-they're Cajun styled. That's all. I'm not bad at something.
Prooobably for the best there, chief.
I've got a chingling! So
Uh, he's not really that cute. No offense, Dom.
Music: Amity Square
Choro Notes: Amity Square was pretty much the inspiration for
HG/SS's most notable feature. With HG/SS ANY Pokémon can follow you 99%
of the time. It owns. Only a few notable things here though, aside from
the items strewn around, after so many steps Pokémon can find rare
berries or accessories.
The Spooky Plate is the ghost-type plate. Kinda sort of makes sense, with all the ruins around here.
Literally just gave Lady a tree stump.
A couple of TMs in here, that's about it.
A bounty of nature that is exceedingly sweet. The Berry is huge, with some discovered that exceed 20 inches.
I could make a muffin out of this.
Good walk, Dom? Good walk.
Alright, let's check out this contest bullshit.
. . .mother?
Oh, hey, yea, I get the hint. Sorry for killing your livelihood by existing for the past twelve years.
Is this a jar of glitter?
Oh, no. I just unintentionally saved your rightfully terrified rabbit from running off into nonexistant traffic. I'm fine with this glitter. Sure.
Yeah, way to not mention the fact that you're apparently a famous contest star.
I've never even seen you with a Pokémon.
Hey, considering you're out here in slippers and an apron I wouldn't be judging the way I dress.
. . .
. . . I don't like that smile.
Madame, you've got the STRANGEST hairstyle I've ever seen. And mine does this weird loop thing around the back.
I didn't say that. At all.
Haha, I bet she's fat BOOYEA. Gimme some.
. . .
Well I get to take out a French woman later. Good to know. Possibly a Quebecer woman.
Choro Notes: Now that we have the dress, oddly. We can see the rest of a pokémon's status menu.
Moves contest-wise have 5 types. Smart, Tough, Cool, Beauty and Cute.
Here's Viola's contest stats. She's. . . average.
And finally, any ribbons Viola has obtained would be on this screen.
Heya, let's see what all this hubbub is about.
Choro Notes: Great, Ultra and Master. I've seen those somewhere else.
Oh well hey, thanks mom. God knows I love pink, frilly things with ribbons. I feel like some sort of gay wizard.
So uh. I can't help but notice I'm the only one here dressed ridiculously.
So mad right now.
Viola, no offense but I'm taking you with me if I'm gonna look like this.
I dunno, look cool?.
Choro Notes: This is a weird sort of "repeat the
stupidly easy rhythm game 6 times. Minigame. It's not difficult in
anyway and is mostly boring. Wanna point out the Hoenn contests did not
have this and it's one of main reasons they're so much better.
Thankfully Viola has natural rhythm.
Choro Notes: Acting = Show off your attacks. Here's
the second reason these contests suck, well third if you count the
stupid accessory bullshit. All the combos and different effects they had
in Hoenn? Yeah, most of your attacks do the same thing and there are
only like 3 combos.
Let's get this over with since I really don't think you can lose the first round if you're using the right move-types.
Different moves have different appeal, the more points you get the closer you are to winning! It's like a game of some kind.
Target a judge, appeal to a judge someone hasn't before and you get bonus points! OH. BOY.
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS INTERESTING. IT'S BORING TO PLAY, IT'S BORING TO SEE I'M SURE.
Congratulations, Viola. High five, You're awesome. Do you feel that
special? Yea neither do I. Let's go beat up that foreigner with the
weird hair and big tits.
Fuck Sinnoh's contests. Fuck 'em hard. I'm gonna kick the shit out of
some ghosts next time. Anything'd be more interesting than this, I bet.
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