Pokemon Quartz

by Zorak

Part 26




Onward I suppose





Oh Imakuni you card




Hey, that looks sort of cool



It was pretty strong... but so is Fuegomelet




Imakuni, you really need to pay attention more You're ruining the entire battling experience




I'll be level with you Imakuni...

You're almost the most normal person here



Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell through this grass



It's like a battle version of one night stands



More like... Nerdmaster Extreme Greg I make fun of them to try to maintain my fragile ego




This twice, basically. Murderfish is like a fish... made for murdering.



Yeah, I am



No, it just makes it ackward and kind of wierd




You know, a manly challenge for manly men doing manly things? Definitely not homosexual at all.



Especially with a manly name like Eugene.




Rocky Roado doesn't stand much chance against the Fishy Murdinator.




I'm starting to wonder when Fuegomelet will get a better fighting move then Double Kick, but for the time being it's pretty good




Like for these. Double Kicks for everyone!





His voice turned into radio static... The static, the steam in the jungle air... It's making Col. Crazy anxious.

I can just tell the war still bothers him... His past, during the war...

Piano begins



We met as soul mates
On Parris Island
We left as inmates
From an asylum
And we were sharp
As sharp as knives
And we were so gung ho
To lay down our lives



We came in spastic
Like tameless horses
We left in plastic
As numbered corpses
And we learned fast
To travel light
Our arms were heavy
But our bellies were tight




We had no home front
We had no soft soap
They sent us Playboy
They gave us Bob Hope
We dug in deep
And shot on sight
And prayed to Jesus Christ
With all of our might



We had no cameras
To shoot the landscape
We passed the hash pipe
And played our Doors tapes
And it was dark
So dark at night
And we held on to each other
Like brother to brother
We promised our mothers we'd write
And we would all go down together
We said we'd all go down together
Yes we would all go down together



Remember Charlie
Remember Baker
They left their childhood
On every acre
And who was wrong?
And who was right?
It didn't matter in the thick of the fight



We held the day
In the palm
Of our hand
They ruled the night
And the night
Seemed to last as long as six weeks
On Parris Island



We held the coastline
They held the highlands
And they were sharp
As sharp as knives
They heard the hum of our motors
They counted the rotors
And waited for us to arrive
And we would all go down together
We said we'd all go down together
Yes we would all go down together




....

And just think, after the war, after Col. Crazy fought for his nation so valiantly, they manage to get his records mixxed up and put him down as a woman. To think! Doesn't that just piss you off?! Doesn't that just make you want to puke?






Hey guys, it's the lost Backstreet Boy! Man, you showed up a decade too late.




Just because he can, just because he can





But... you only had one Pokemon? That's not good math






But... I already caught one? I assume if someone is invisible and in my way, I can just toss something at it and that'll solve a blockade problem won't it?




Um... whatever floats your boat I guess. ( It's like a furry but with trees, a woody perhaps



Oh come now, it's not that bad. What's there to worry about, some wierd sort of vine-like tentacle monster or something?





Murderfish is raging the dragon



... oh god no wonder you're afraid of the jungle tentacle-rape phallic weed monster




I KNOW, I KNOW





...



It's a type of rape I've never had to worry about before... until now



I thought they called this the "Storm Temple" on the phone



Anything but interesting




Not... sure what happened to Murderfish's name.





... the replica was stronger then the real thing




Yeah it was probabally a bad idea to use him against it



Swap.bear on the other hand is always a good idea (sort of )



I'd like to see you try. Right now :T



.... okay Mr. Crossdressing Rock guy...



whelp,



Son't?





Okay, I'll forget that you said it was dangerous to go into right away.



This is going to be a close encounter. Especially since I'm basically out of healing items altogether



I'm Bad Company, I won't deny. Baaaad Company, until the day I die.



I'm sort of wondering why all these Ambar people have orange hair. Maybe they're Irish Russian Circus Mechanics with electric plug fetishes and things for ghost detectors and inflating the sun.



... fuck.





Oh damn yeah, more like




Yeah, I heard. Your "attemp" this time is pretty dumb.








... yes, quite.




Me being a kid hasn't stopped me from stopping you before






Whelp, we definitely are probabally not going to make it through this place before whiting out




Well, I ask you... what about Pokemon with lightning rod as an ability? Huh!?



I could backtrack to a city to use a Pokemon Center but... I think I'll just push forward.






That's an Energiz, not a Kito whatever. Silly Ambar




It's like... a ghost combined with a Shyguy combined with a Middle Age Europe plague doctor!




very effective, obviously.


... well, it made it hail, and it turned creepy all of a sudden





Uh... It looks like a kind of ghost, I doubt it'd be very hard



You!



You!







t very effective.

for very lucky bites critting and flinching






Nutbunnies.





Hey, maybe I'll beat this guy




Crap. Well, maybe Swap.bear can lull it to sleep.



... apparently it's immune to sleep. Crap.





But on the way back, I found something I didn't see before:




That's alot of birds...





Someone must really like birds.



Back in again...



Me!



Yeah, I ran back here really fast before you could finish your nefariously retarded plans.



... *smacks with holstered blade*



Damn straight




That's dumb. You're dumb. EVERYTHING IS DUMB!




No, I'm the other sexy blond girl named Foxy with a rape bear.




What, did they elect you or something? I think not





Kicking ass and taking no names because I don't care about those I crush



Oh hey, it's Murderfish's distant cousin, Slaughterfish. Show him that there can only be around for the good of our team, Fuegomelet!






About me getting lost in the jungle? I'm not sure that's a good thing to understand because it was totally wrong













Er... okay. You guys are kind of wierd... but okay... leaving now.



Oh god it's J. Akira and my blade is still stuck damn it. NO YOU CANNOT HAVE ME






KISS THE FIST JERK



But I dun wanna



I hope those sunglasses make it so you fall in a hole and die



Burnnnn







Foxy - J Akira, 2 - 0




Sure, I know what you're thinking, fighting your rival's opposite type Pokemon with yours? Lunacy right!? Yeah well, Fuegomelet is my rape repellant. Hopefully this sound beating will make him never bother me again




YAY



... oh god, the abuse and beating him is turning him on







Oh god what's happening






Thanks RC

...

quote:

<RedChocobo> this thing is an abomination of anatomy and biology
<Zorak> Indeed
<Zorak> Hold on a second and I'll look up its dimensions and stuff
<Zorak> It's 6'03"
<RedChocobo> fuck it's just the proportions and perspective this thing's sprite it
<RedChocobo> it's bottom jaw is pointed and longer than it's upper jaw
<Zorak> Hah yeah
<RedChocobo> there is a large tooth at the end of it
<RedChocobo> it has a tumor-like fold half way down it's nose
<RedChocobo> and it's nostrils are in no way parallel
<Zorak> Is that a tooth or is that supposed to be a claw
<RedChocobo> zooming in on the sprite it is definately a tooth
<RedChocobo> it's coming out of his mouth
<RedChocobo> fuck, as is
<RedChocobo> his mouth is perpetually open
<Zorak> TYRADINO is a extremelly cruel POKeMON. If its trainer doesn't care it properly, it will take advantage of any absent--mindeness for burn and eat him/her.
<Zorak> Typos his, not mine
<RedChocobo> he has no way to chew or even tear off food
<RedChocobo> the ONLY way it could tear flesh
<RedChocobo> is to hold it down and drag it's face acrossed it
<Zorak> It has no neck to tear yea
<RedChocobo> this... this is an abomination
<Zorak> But look how huge its mouth is
<Zorak> It could just engulf nearly everything
<RedChocobo> yea
<Zorak> Like a snake
<RedChocobo> see that's the thing though
<RedChocobo> it can't shut it's mouth
<RedChocobo> look at how the jaws meet
<RedChocobo> so even if it DID get something in it's mouth
<RedChocobo> it could just hop out
<Zorak> Maybe its teeth extend like Wolvarine's claws to close it
<Zorak> Who the fuck knows
<Zorak> Baro moves in creepylicious ways

It has become a horrible abomination unto the world





The abuse really is turning him on





no, no thank you, I'll instead fly to the furthest corner of the world so I can never see you again






Thanks Ricochet

NO >:I



Go away jerk Does anyone know where to buy some sword grease



Can't I just kick it until it moves



His side portrait (back portrait) is as bad as his front



Well, at least we're out of the jungle... sort of.

Thanks to Wholesale Meats, Drakkel, Volatile Penguin, Drake Lake, BinBin, RedChocbo, Ricochet, and anyone else I missed who contributed.