Pokemon Crystal

by Chorocojo

Part 3

And suddenly it was daytime and my bite wounds were healed!

Well I'm stuck with the little demon for now.

Aww, a pidgey!

Oh god, you're a horrible little monster and I pray for your eventual death.

Run Sentret! Run before he kills you...

And still, things approach me.

Oh god little Hoppip, I hope you can defend yourself.

No, not like that Hoppip!

WHAT HAVE I UNLEASHED ON THE WORLD?!

Just for fun, walk around town and tell people how to save games and stuff. You get the weirdest looks.

A city named after a buncha trees! Oh god it's that crazy old man...

I guess, technically.

Yes, I know, you are champion of the world, Mr. Stevens. You saved us from Gamera.

I should do what he says, otherwise he'll flip out and make pants out of my skin.

Well that helped my confidence.

"I saw a gremlin out there once. He was going to the bathroom."

"The trick is to yell at it, or else the merfolk show up and take your shrubs."

"...help in keeping the demons from capturing it."

It's not a jar of urine like last time, is it?

I'm not questioning where this guy got it from in the first place but I'll take it.

Just wanted to point out. The Nurses here in Johto wear black.

Headin' North, Boss

Shut up, it's totally a tree.

FRUIT!

HIGHLY COMPLEX MEDICINAL CHEMICAL!

Oh, oh! A battle between to Rhydon! And one's purple!

Wait, what? That's not a Rattata?

You are not good at Pokémon, are you?

WEEDLE! Oh... right... I have no balls.

Man these patches of grass are oddly geometrically perfect.

I wish my house had a big billboard outside that just said: "REDCHOCOBO'S HOUSE"

"Please say you are, I've said that to four people now and it just keeps getting awkward."

He said you're a dirty ass liar.

They must've really liked each other.

Eew.

He sowed salt in my garden one day.

You mean that he's a jerk.

AH THE GUY FROM THE DREAM.

Are you also a WITCH?

"We were laughing about this new guy down south. Calls himself 'Prof. Birch'. Haha It's totally a joke doctorate."

It ate so many cute things on the way here.

Why are you so happy about it?

Because he's a stupid jerk?

So then he's jerk like his friend?

It's a horrible little bastard.

It depends, you aren't going to give me a scorpion or a cobra, are you?

"Maybe you can actually finish it. Not like that little bastard that lives next door. Little delinquent."

Do you have one of those soundboards that makes fart noises and stuff? I'd prolly listen to that.

"And if you see some punk wearing Red, kick him in the crotch for me."

No. Fuck him.

Hold on, just scrape the burnt part off, it's still good to eat.

Well fuck, don't turn the toaster up that high next time.

Hold on, I'll be right there...




plastic_shark posted:

Gatorface isn't evil, just misunderstood.

He ripped the face off a Sentret and then violated the corpse...

...anally.

Misunderstood my ass




Might as well throw the final evos up. I doubt we'll see any.

Meganium #154

Herb Pokémon Grass
Height: 5'11" Weight: 221.6 lbs
Habitat: Grasslands
Stage2 (Evolves from Bayleef)
The fragrance of Meganium's flower soothes and calms emotions. In battle, this Pokémon gives off more of its becalming scent to blunt the foe's fighting spirit. It's breath has the power to revive dead grass and plants. It can make them healthy again. The aroma that rises from its petals contains a substance that calms aggressive feelings. Anyone who stands near it becomes relaxed, just as if they were relaxing in a sunny forest.

Typhlosion #157

Volcano Pokémon Fire
Height: 5'07" Weight: 175.3 lbs
Habitat: Grasslands
Stage2 (Evolves from Quilava)
Typhlosion obscures itself behind a shimmering heat haze that it creates using its intensely hot flames. This Pokémon creates blazing explosive blasts that burn everything to cinders. It has a seldom-used, devastating move. It rubs its blazing fur together to cause huge fiery reactions. If its rage peaks, it becomes so hot that anything that touches it will instantly ignite. When heat from its body causes the air around it to shimmer, this is a sign that it is ready to battle.

Feraligatr #160

Big Jaw Pokémon Water
Height: 7'07" Weight: 195.8 lbs
Habitat: Freshwater
Stage2 (Evolves from Croconaw)
Feraligatr intimidates its foes by opening its huge mouth. It is hard for it to support its own weight out of water, so it gets down on all fours. In battle, it will kick the ground hard with its thick and powerful hind legs to charge at the foe at an incredible speed. When it bites with its massive and powerful jaws, it shakes its head and savagely tears its victim's flesh.


Wild Feraligatr are supposedly said to eat humans.